Cougar mentality leads to increased lingerie sales...

How EXACTLY does a story originate in London of all places about the rise of "Cougars" leading to increased lingerie sales and fail to mention the NUMBER ONE reason for this phenomenon:

F*ck if I know!

Combusting panties (as in I cotton to Rob) need constant replacing!

The closest they got was citing "Cougar Town" in which Courtney Cox did reference the precious once! This picture alone, which I think I stole from Robmusement (thanks!), is enough to make me want to shop for black lacey contraptions in Vancouver this weekend!

To read this misguided article click on the post title.

-TT

Rob's On My "To Do" List!

(This might be the post where you say TT is a little looney. That's okay!)

So how did you spend your day TT? Oh the usual, making a list of things to do for the weekend.

To Do List:

1.  Buy baby shower gift.

2.  Buy birthday gift for sister in law.

3.  Send friend a birthday card.

Yeah I seem to buy an awful lot of cards and gifts but the same people have been really good to me and I'm soooooo appreciative so it is the least I can do in return. As the pictures of the "Eclipse Big 3" came in today my mind got redirected to the big 3 being  all together in Vancouver for reshooting of scenes. Then my mind started connecting dots that may or may not be actually there. Like isn't it interesting because aren't the same big 3 supposed to be together on Oprah's stage for a pretaping that is reportedly to be done on May 5th. Is that only 1 week away? And then the show will air on May 13th, which happens to be Rob's birthday. And then BAM, I just added something to my To Do list.

4. Buy Rob a birthday card and send it to the Oprah show.

It should get there in time for May 5th, right? Is this not a brilliant plan? Who's with me?

Brilliant until you go looking for a snail mail address for Oprah, that is. There are 2 but a Harpo representative states they no longer accept postal mail. Oprah, that is not very supportive of one of America's oldest organizations! Someone's always gotta throw a f*ckin' spider monkey wrench in my plans!

Screw it! I'll take a chance and send 2 cards out! One to each of the  addresses I found!

PO Box 909715

Chicago, IL 60690-9175

110 N Carpenter St

Chicago, IL 60609-2146

Well I guess there is the old standby Robert Pattinson Fanmail address where I was planning on sending a Mother's Day Card to his mum anyway. WHAT? Weren't YOU going to send Rob's mum a Mother's Day card this year? Isn't it the least you could do to say,

            "Hey great job on bringing the precious into this world! He's worth every second of labor pain you endured!"

ATTN Robert Pattinson's Mum

Curtis Brown Group Ltd.

Haymarket House

5th Floor

28-29 Haymarket

London SW1Y 4SP

Sure I have relatives in Europe that haven't received a Christmas card from me in a few years because I always forget to go to the post office to mail their stuff out special, but somehow I think I'm going to get there for this! I have priorities, you know!

And one more Mother's Day card to send out....let's see....Oh yes! I'm going to send one to Edward's mom.

NOW JUST HOLD ON! I SAID I'M LOONEY NOT DELUSIONAL!

I don't mean I'm sending a card to Elizabeth Masen, mother for all intents-and-purposes Esme, or even to Elizabeth Reaser!

I'm going to send a card to Stephenie Meyer, creator of Edward, hence his mother!

It's sure to be sweet, complimentary, and a f*ckin' reminder about her forgotten midnight son, Edward!

See where I'm going with this?

Stephenie Meyer c/o Author Mail

Little, Brown, and Company

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Alright let's change gears and talk about Rob for a while!

You absolutely have to check out It's Roblated today! She put so much time and effort into a beautiful post that pays tribute to Edward and various common denominators like his hair, his struts, and his fight scenes in Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse that every fanchickadee would appreciate! It is f*cktastic and I wouldn't want anyone to miss out on seeing it! I'm sharing it the same way I would but really would not invite you all over for tea if Rob was visiting my house.

Here's a preview!

And of course, Robmusement has more great things to love about Rob going on tonight!

  Is Rob on your To Do list?
Are you going to send any cards out?

Is your mom going to send any cards out?
-TT

Don Your Drool Bib and Head on Over to...

                                          Robmusement

Feel like it's either RobFeast or Famine? Well a feast is going on all week over at Robmusement!

If I had any coherent thoughts that I was going to work into a post I surely got derailed over there tonight!

I've been Robbed of my senses!

I'm all over the place and just discomROBulated!

And finally I have someone to validate my mistaking Rob's eyes for greeeeeeeen!

Go check it out, especially the video of Rob singing. He told me I was his queen and he worshipped me. He did, really!

Don't forget your Drool Bib!

-TT

A Tribute to A Broken-Hearted Charlie!

On one of my more recent Twilight rereads, this one line caught my attention  toward the very beginning of the book. It was something I had cruised over much too fast in my haste to get to the Edward parts, especially the first time I read the book because I had seen the movie first.

It was impossible being in this house, not to realize that Charlie had never gotten over my mom. It made me uncomfortable.

These were Bella's thoughts after seeing the wedding picture of her parents shorty after arriving at Charlie's house. So after I read this I just felt, "poor Charlie" especially knowing how Bella hurts him later when she is trying to get away from James by telling Charlie all the same things that Renee said before she left Charlie.

Now think about Charlie standing there next to Renee and her new husband while Bella leaves for her honeymoon after getting married. No wonder he was off in the corner drinking during the reception.

I know we hear a lot of music that reminds us of Twilight concerning Edward and Bella (maybe Jacob) but today I had some Charlie inspiration. I had to run to the post office this afternoon and as I'm standing in line I hear this song over the speakers. It is not unfamiliar to me just not one I hear too often. I instantly perk up to the name as I'm listening because of course it is Twilight related.

Then I really listen to the lyrics and I think OMG this is soooooooooooooo Charlie's song! That's right Charlie has a song!!! Most of us may be too young to know this song. Thankfully I had parents who forced all music from the 60s upon me (as if I had a choice). I picked this video because it shows the words. Subtitles and Twilight go hand-in-hand these days as far as I'm concerned. Actually any Rob movie and subtitles works out just better for me!

So I dedicate this song to our favorite man in blue, Chief Swan, and his undying love for Renee!

Subtitled for the deaf, hard of hearing, and Twitarded!

 It has a cool backstory on the inspiration for this song if you are interested! Click here!

Or if you are a Bon Jovi fan, (and really who's not? If Edward is not, don't tell me. He said the 80s were tolerable) here's a snippet of a more contemporary version of this song!

Or if you prefer, if you were an Ally McBeal fan (like me! Possibly this was the GLEE of the 1990s? But not with high school kids, just adults that acted like high schoolers) here's Vonda Shepard singing it. This surely must have been linked to Ally's roommate on the show because her name was Renee.

A lot of people have covered this song including David Cassidy, the Four Tops, and Linda Ronstadt!

Wow my heart kinda aches for Charlie hearing that. Does yours?

          (It's a good song, but better now that it's Twilight related!)

**Fun fact, The Left Banke was considered part of the British Invasion. Wanna know how I piss off my mom? She's very into the Beatles. No one can top the Beatles. Guess what I tell her?

"ROBERT PATTINSON IS THE MOST ULTIMATE BRITISH INVASION EVER!"

She's not amused. I am and that's what's important.

-TT

And please go see Robmusement to check out some awesome answers TwilightCupcake listed as 10 REASONS she loves Rob.

"You better...spider monkey" WAS NOT the worst line in Twilight!

Today I'm picking on taking another look at Twilight the movie. Humor me?

Just wanted to share two places that I think with just a little tweaking of the lines the scene could have been, oh, you know, just a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit better.

Soooooo let's start with Bella. You've just been on the best date of your life, presumably the ONLY date of your life. You just had it confirmed that the boy you have a huge crush on is different in some way and now have the hero-damsel in distress happen to you twice. Edward just told you two of the greatest lines of the whole freakin movie over mushroom ravioli, ya know, "I feel very protective of you" and "I don't have the strength to stay away from you" and despite ALL of that the only thing you can muster up to say to him here is...

"Ummm, see ya." -Isabella Swan

What. The. F*ckety f*ck? Were you really that torn up over Buttcrack Santa dying? I mean you had to know that if it wasn't the vampires it would have been the booze eating away at his liver at some point soon.  

 Let's try a better line shall we?

How about straight out of the book, "Do you promise to be there tomorrow?" pg 192 in my book

How about being polite, "Thank you for dinner. Your conversation was very revealing." *wink wink*

How about being smitten, "You're so hot Edward and I never wanted you more than in that car ride home, cold fingers and all! Sorry you had to hear that Carlisle, but it's the truth and Edward can't read my mind so I felt I had a right to vocalize all that!"

Next up, Edward...

You coax her up to your room for the first time. She's very understanding of your family and this new information about how you don't sleep. She is into the same music as you. You decide to carefully try to dance with you're oh-so-delicate human sweetie for the first time knowing this involves some very tender touching but after she hesitates and admits a vulnerability that is she can't dance you respond...

"Well I could always make you." -Edward Cullen

Again I say what the f*ckityfoof*ck? Suddenly we are supposed to believe you are willing to threaten her?

How about a line straight out of the book, okay I'm going to paraphrase because I can't find the exact line and where the hell is LwE when you need her!?LwE if you find the line tell me please! "I thought that was just something you told your admirers to get out of going to the dance with them." OR "Don't worry, silly. I can" pg 488

How about being polite, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize. How about if I teach you all Johnny Castle style?" and then he busts into, "Baby, oh baby, my sweet baby you're the one" **plays air guitar**

How about being smitten all vamp style,  "Well it is just as well because your scent swirling all around me while you dance would just make your blood more appealing, you'd be more potent to me, and I might lose control and really kill you this time sweetheart."

Please tell me you've got some better lines!

Little question for ya! In the epilogue of Twilight remember this part?

Bella says, "Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!"

"Hmmm." He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. "Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight."

Did you read this as Edward being sarcastic, as in Alice should have known better than to have let Bella wear a shoe like that knowing how easily she trips and he was going to give her an earful about needing to take precautions where Bella was concerned.

Or...

Did you read it as Edward having some really naughty, horned up thoughts like a typical teenage boy on prom night?

Lemme know!

Bullentin Board

Be sure to check out Robmusement this week! It's gonna be cock chock full of Rob I hear!

Notice my button? I did say thanks right Lisa ?

Am I going to be tired all Monday? Yeah probably so because Random Angels updated so that means I'm going to be up reading it tonight. Eila teased me about some Edward and Bella happy times in this upcoming chapter and I will so revoke her chance to meet Rob at the pub to discuss their story if she doesn't deliver! 

Are you hooked on this story yet? I mean do I have to put on my best push-up bra under a low cut shirt that shows off my midrift and stand out in the middle of the street with my hands up in the air yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

(And if you get that, I just might blow you a kiss!)

Hope you had a nifty weekend! -TT

Like A Glee Virgin

When Buffy, Angel, and Charmed were on I had a pretty heavy tv schedule, but these days chickadees and chickadic, not so much.

I wasn't all that intrigued by Glee even though I know a lot of people have been talking about it. I think I read an article on it discussing some of the actors and actresses. Yeah, yeah they were on Oprah. (Oprah had on the cast of Glee before Twilight, WTF?)

Last week when both MusingBella and LwE told me the line "I cotton to" was used on the show I was first off ecstatic the bloggy goddesses thought of me (or Rob, whichever!) and secondly thought I would like to at least check out that show if they are going to be stealing my lines the way LwE does.  

Last night I happened across a Glee rerun and the familiarity of the music caught my attention right away! 

Well holy hell what a great first episode I stumbled upon for my FIRST TIME! ALL MADONNA MUSIC?????? SO is  this why my local radio station has been sneaking in Madonna songs all damn week? I had everything I could do not run to the basement and fish out my jelly bands and lace gloves! And don't think I didn't have a whole choreographed dance number to "Express Yourself" back in the day but I was too busy giggling at the show to get that into the groove.

picture source

True Blue Madonna back when your mom worried she was a bad influence!

A guy singing Like a Virgin and Open Your Heart on this show? Hysterical!!! But what is this show? Like High School Musical meets DeGrassi High? There were a lot of funny lines and Madonna scored a lot of reverrance and high praise, "Hall of Fame MILF" said one of the high school students. yeah Funn-eeeeee! Sue, the coach of the cheerios, definitely takes her Madonna empowerment seriously! We all did at one time, though didn't we? Then they recreated the whole "Vogue" video-truly epic! I was cracking up! These actors/actresses must loooooooooove their jobs! I would! I used to do all that sh*t for free!

I definitely cannot promise I will remember to watch this show or know when it is on next, but I think if I was only ever going to see one episode of Glee ever, last night's repeat episode was the one to watch!

Tell me if you saw it and what other singers have been featured on this show.

**RE: The Eclipse trailer.

I could not help but thinking afterwards that there was something comical about needing this ENTIRE ARMY of vampires to kill one little human girl who practically has human near-death experiences on a daily basis without any outside bad intentions of any other worldly creatures!

As always, feel free to Express Yourself in the comments!
-TT

Total Eclipse of the Funniez!!!

May 13th.

May 13th.

May 13th.

May 13th.

I think there is something really important going on that day I just can't remember what.

Like a solar eclipse, Tongue-Twied is hanging in the background and sending you over to 

I Heart Mythical Creatures

I'm over the moon for her collection of Friday Funniez!

KG has quite a collection of the funniez going on and even included me! I'm so honored!

One of my favorites is already over there and it involves Rob, laser beams, and panties!

Go see it for yourself!

-TT