"You better...spider monkey" WAS NOT the worst line in Twilight!

Today I'm picking on taking another look at Twilight the movie. Humor me?

Just wanted to share two places that I think with just a little tweaking of the lines the scene could have been, oh, you know, just a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit better.

Soooooo let's start with Bella. You've just been on the best date of your life, presumably the ONLY date of your life. You just had it confirmed that the boy you have a huge crush on is different in some way and now have the hero-damsel in distress happen to you twice. Edward just told you two of the greatest lines of the whole freakin movie over mushroom ravioli, ya know, "I feel very protective of you" and "I don't have the strength to stay away from you" and despite ALL of that the only thing you can muster up to say to him here is...

"Ummm, see ya." -Isabella Swan

What. The. F*ckety f*ck? Were you really that torn up over Buttcrack Santa dying? I mean you had to know that if it wasn't the vampires it would have been the booze eating away at his liver at some point soon.  

 Let's try a better line shall we?

How about straight out of the book, "Do you promise to be there tomorrow?" pg 192 in my book

How about being polite, "Thank you for dinner. Your conversation was very revealing." *wink wink*

How about being smitten, "You're so hot Edward and I never wanted you more than in that car ride home, cold fingers and all! Sorry you had to hear that Carlisle, but it's the truth and Edward can't read my mind so I felt I had a right to vocalize all that!"

Next up, Edward...

You coax her up to your room for the first time. She's very understanding of your family and this new information about how you don't sleep. She is into the same music as you. You decide to carefully try to dance with you're oh-so-delicate human sweetie for the first time knowing this involves some very tender touching but after she hesitates and admits a vulnerability that is she can't dance you respond...

"Well I could always make you." -Edward Cullen

Again I say what the f*ckityfoof*ck? Suddenly we are supposed to believe you are willing to threaten her?

How about a line straight out of the book, okay I'm going to paraphrase because I can't find the exact line and where the hell is LwE when you need her!?LwE if you find the line tell me please! "I thought that was just something you told your admirers to get out of going to the dance with them." OR "Don't worry, silly. I can" pg 488

How about being polite, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize. How about if I teach you all Johnny Castle style?" and then he busts into, "Baby, oh baby, my sweet baby you're the one" **plays air guitar**

How about being smitten all vamp style,  "Well it is just as well because your scent swirling all around me while you dance would just make your blood more appealing, you'd be more potent to me, and I might lose control and really kill you this time sweetheart."

Please tell me you've got some better lines!

Little question for ya! In the epilogue of Twilight remember this part?

Bella says, "Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!"

"Hmmm." He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. "Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight."

Did you read this as Edward being sarcastic, as in Alice should have known better than to have let Bella wear a shoe like that knowing how easily she trips and he was going to give her an earful about needing to take precautions where Bella was concerned.

Or...

Did you read it as Edward having some really naughty, horned up thoughts like a typical teenage boy on prom night?

Lemme know!

Bullentin Board

Be sure to check out Robmusement this week! It's gonna be cock chock full of Rob I hear!

Notice my button? I did say thanks right Lisa ?

Am I going to be tired all Monday? Yeah probably so because Random Angels updated so that means I'm going to be up reading it tonight. Eila teased me about some Edward and Bella happy times in this upcoming chapter and I will so revoke her chance to meet Rob at the pub to discuss their story if she doesn't deliver! 

Are you hooked on this story yet? I mean do I have to put on my best push-up bra under a low cut shirt that shows off my midrift and stand out in the middle of the street with my hands up in the air yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

(And if you get that, I just might blow you a kiss!)

Hope you had a nifty weekend! -TT