Cougar mentality leads to increased lingerie sales...

How EXACTLY does a story originate in London of all places about the rise of "Cougars" leading to increased lingerie sales and fail to mention the NUMBER ONE reason for this phenomenon:

F*ck if I know!

Combusting panties (as in I cotton to Rob) need constant replacing!

The closest they got was citing "Cougar Town" in which Courtney Cox did reference the precious once! This picture alone, which I think I stole from Robmusement (thanks!), is enough to make me want to shop for black lacey contraptions in Vancouver this weekend!

To read this misguided article click on the post title.

-TT

Rob's On My "To Do" List!

(This might be the post where you say TT is a little looney. That's okay!)

So how did you spend your day TT? Oh the usual, making a list of things to do for the weekend.

To Do List:

1.  Buy baby shower gift.

2.  Buy birthday gift for sister in law.

3.  Send friend a birthday card.

Yeah I seem to buy an awful lot of cards and gifts but the same people have been really good to me and I'm soooooo appreciative so it is the least I can do in return. As the pictures of the "Eclipse Big 3" came in today my mind got redirected to the big 3 being  all together in Vancouver for reshooting of scenes. Then my mind started connecting dots that may or may not be actually there. Like isn't it interesting because aren't the same big 3 supposed to be together on Oprah's stage for a pretaping that is reportedly to be done on May 5th. Is that only 1 week away? And then the show will air on May 13th, which happens to be Rob's birthday. And then BAM, I just added something to my To Do list.

4. Buy Rob a birthday card and send it to the Oprah show.

It should get there in time for May 5th, right? Is this not a brilliant plan? Who's with me?

Brilliant until you go looking for a snail mail address for Oprah, that is. There are 2 but a Harpo representative states they no longer accept postal mail. Oprah, that is not very supportive of one of America's oldest organizations! Someone's always gotta throw a f*ckin' spider monkey wrench in my plans!

Screw it! I'll take a chance and send 2 cards out! One to each of the  addresses I found!

PO Box 909715

Chicago, IL 60690-9175

110 N Carpenter St

Chicago, IL 60609-2146

Well I guess there is the old standby Robert Pattinson Fanmail address where I was planning on sending a Mother's Day Card to his mum anyway. WHAT? Weren't YOU going to send Rob's mum a Mother's Day card this year? Isn't it the least you could do to say,

            "Hey great job on bringing the precious into this world! He's worth every second of labor pain you endured!"

ATTN Robert Pattinson's Mum

Curtis Brown Group Ltd.

Haymarket House

5th Floor

28-29 Haymarket

London SW1Y 4SP

Sure I have relatives in Europe that haven't received a Christmas card from me in a few years because I always forget to go to the post office to mail their stuff out special, but somehow I think I'm going to get there for this! I have priorities, you know!

And one more Mother's Day card to send out....let's see....Oh yes! I'm going to send one to Edward's mom.

NOW JUST HOLD ON! I SAID I'M LOONEY NOT DELUSIONAL!

I don't mean I'm sending a card to Elizabeth Masen, mother for all intents-and-purposes Esme, or even to Elizabeth Reaser!

I'm going to send a card to Stephenie Meyer, creator of Edward, hence his mother!

It's sure to be sweet, complimentary, and a f*ckin' reminder about her forgotten midnight son, Edward!

See where I'm going with this?

Stephenie Meyer c/o Author Mail

Little, Brown, and Company

237 Park Avenue

New York, NY 10017

Alright let's change gears and talk about Rob for a while!

You absolutely have to check out It's Roblated today! She put so much time and effort into a beautiful post that pays tribute to Edward and various common denominators like his hair, his struts, and his fight scenes in Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse that every fanchickadee would appreciate! It is f*cktastic and I wouldn't want anyone to miss out on seeing it! I'm sharing it the same way I would but really would not invite you all over for tea if Rob was visiting my house.

Here's a preview!

And of course, Robmusement has more great things to love about Rob going on tonight!

  Is Rob on your To Do list?
Are you going to send any cards out?

Is your mom going to send any cards out?
-TT

Don Your Drool Bib and Head on Over to...

                                          Robmusement

Feel like it's either RobFeast or Famine? Well a feast is going on all week over at Robmusement!

If I had any coherent thoughts that I was going to work into a post I surely got derailed over there tonight!

I've been Robbed of my senses!

I'm all over the place and just discomROBulated!

And finally I have someone to validate my mistaking Rob's eyes for greeeeeeeen!

Go check it out, especially the video of Rob singing. He told me I was his queen and he worshipped me. He did, really!

Don't forget your Drool Bib!

-TT

A Tribute to A Broken-Hearted Charlie!

On one of my more recent Twilight rereads, this one line caught my attention  toward the very beginning of the book. It was something I had cruised over much too fast in my haste to get to the Edward parts, especially the first time I read the book because I had seen the movie first.

It was impossible being in this house, not to realize that Charlie had never gotten over my mom. It made me uncomfortable.

These were Bella's thoughts after seeing the wedding picture of her parents shorty after arriving at Charlie's house. So after I read this I just felt, "poor Charlie" especially knowing how Bella hurts him later when she is trying to get away from James by telling Charlie all the same things that Renee said before she left Charlie.

Now think about Charlie standing there next to Renee and her new husband while Bella leaves for her honeymoon after getting married. No wonder he was off in the corner drinking during the reception.

I know we hear a lot of music that reminds us of Twilight concerning Edward and Bella (maybe Jacob) but today I had some Charlie inspiration. I had to run to the post office this afternoon and as I'm standing in line I hear this song over the speakers. It is not unfamiliar to me just not one I hear too often. I instantly perk up to the name as I'm listening because of course it is Twilight related.

Then I really listen to the lyrics and I think OMG this is soooooooooooooo Charlie's song! That's right Charlie has a song!!! Most of us may be too young to know this song. Thankfully I had parents who forced all music from the 60s upon me (as if I had a choice). I picked this video because it shows the words. Subtitles and Twilight go hand-in-hand these days as far as I'm concerned. Actually any Rob movie and subtitles works out just better for me!

So I dedicate this song to our favorite man in blue, Chief Swan, and his undying love for Renee!

Subtitled for the deaf, hard of hearing, and Twitarded!

 It has a cool backstory on the inspiration for this song if you are interested! Click here!

Or if you are a Bon Jovi fan, (and really who's not? If Edward is not, don't tell me. He said the 80s were tolerable) here's a snippet of a more contemporary version of this song!

Or if you prefer, if you were an Ally McBeal fan (like me! Possibly this was the GLEE of the 1990s? But not with high school kids, just adults that acted like high schoolers) here's Vonda Shepard singing it. This surely must have been linked to Ally's roommate on the show because her name was Renee.

A lot of people have covered this song including David Cassidy, the Four Tops, and Linda Ronstadt!

Wow my heart kinda aches for Charlie hearing that. Does yours?

          (It's a good song, but better now that it's Twilight related!)

**Fun fact, The Left Banke was considered part of the British Invasion. Wanna know how I piss off my mom? She's very into the Beatles. No one can top the Beatles. Guess what I tell her?

"ROBERT PATTINSON IS THE MOST ULTIMATE BRITISH INVASION EVER!"

She's not amused. I am and that's what's important.

-TT

And please go see Robmusement to check out some awesome answers TwilightCupcake listed as 10 REASONS she loves Rob.

"You better...spider monkey" WAS NOT the worst line in Twilight!

Today I'm picking on taking another look at Twilight the movie. Humor me?

Just wanted to share two places that I think with just a little tweaking of the lines the scene could have been, oh, you know, just a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit better.

Soooooo let's start with Bella. You've just been on the best date of your life, presumably the ONLY date of your life. You just had it confirmed that the boy you have a huge crush on is different in some way and now have the hero-damsel in distress happen to you twice. Edward just told you two of the greatest lines of the whole freakin movie over mushroom ravioli, ya know, "I feel very protective of you" and "I don't have the strength to stay away from you" and despite ALL of that the only thing you can muster up to say to him here is...

"Ummm, see ya." -Isabella Swan

What. The. F*ckety f*ck? Were you really that torn up over Buttcrack Santa dying? I mean you had to know that if it wasn't the vampires it would have been the booze eating away at his liver at some point soon.  

 Let's try a better line shall we?

How about straight out of the book, "Do you promise to be there tomorrow?" pg 192 in my book

How about being polite, "Thank you for dinner. Your conversation was very revealing." *wink wink*

How about being smitten, "You're so hot Edward and I never wanted you more than in that car ride home, cold fingers and all! Sorry you had to hear that Carlisle, but it's the truth and Edward can't read my mind so I felt I had a right to vocalize all that!"

Next up, Edward...

You coax her up to your room for the first time. She's very understanding of your family and this new information about how you don't sleep. She is into the same music as you. You decide to carefully try to dance with you're oh-so-delicate human sweetie for the first time knowing this involves some very tender touching but after she hesitates and admits a vulnerability that is she can't dance you respond...

"Well I could always make you." -Edward Cullen

Again I say what the f*ckityfoof*ck? Suddenly we are supposed to believe you are willing to threaten her?

How about a line straight out of the book, okay I'm going to paraphrase because I can't find the exact line and where the hell is LwE when you need her!?LwE if you find the line tell me please! "I thought that was just something you told your admirers to get out of going to the dance with them." OR "Don't worry, silly. I can" pg 488

How about being polite, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize. How about if I teach you all Johnny Castle style?" and then he busts into, "Baby, oh baby, my sweet baby you're the one" **plays air guitar**

How about being smitten all vamp style,  "Well it is just as well because your scent swirling all around me while you dance would just make your blood more appealing, you'd be more potent to me, and I might lose control and really kill you this time sweetheart."

Please tell me you've got some better lines!

Little question for ya! In the epilogue of Twilight remember this part?

Bella says, "Look at this shoe! It's a death trap!"

"Hmmm." He stared at my leg longer than was necessary. "Remind me to thank Alice for that tonight."

Did you read this as Edward being sarcastic, as in Alice should have known better than to have let Bella wear a shoe like that knowing how easily she trips and he was going to give her an earful about needing to take precautions where Bella was concerned.

Or...

Did you read it as Edward having some really naughty, horned up thoughts like a typical teenage boy on prom night?

Lemme know!

Bullentin Board

Be sure to check out Robmusement this week! It's gonna be cock chock full of Rob I hear!

Notice my button? I did say thanks right Lisa ?

Am I going to be tired all Monday? Yeah probably so because Random Angels updated so that means I'm going to be up reading it tonight. Eila teased me about some Edward and Bella happy times in this upcoming chapter and I will so revoke her chance to meet Rob at the pub to discuss their story if she doesn't deliver! 

Are you hooked on this story yet? I mean do I have to put on my best push-up bra under a low cut shirt that shows off my midrift and stand out in the middle of the street with my hands up in the air yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

(And if you get that, I just might blow you a kiss!)

Hope you had a nifty weekend! -TT

Like A Glee Virgin

When Buffy, Angel, and Charmed were on I had a pretty heavy tv schedule, but these days chickadees and chickadic, not so much.

I wasn't all that intrigued by Glee even though I know a lot of people have been talking about it. I think I read an article on it discussing some of the actors and actresses. Yeah, yeah they were on Oprah. (Oprah had on the cast of Glee before Twilight, WTF?)

Last week when both MusingBella and LwE told me the line "I cotton to" was used on the show I was first off ecstatic the bloggy goddesses thought of me (or Rob, whichever!) and secondly thought I would like to at least check out that show if they are going to be stealing my lines the way LwE does.  

Last night I happened across a Glee rerun and the familiarity of the music caught my attention right away! 

Well holy hell what a great first episode I stumbled upon for my FIRST TIME! ALL MADONNA MUSIC?????? SO is  this why my local radio station has been sneaking in Madonna songs all damn week? I had everything I could do not run to the basement and fish out my jelly bands and lace gloves! And don't think I didn't have a whole choreographed dance number to "Express Yourself" back in the day but I was too busy giggling at the show to get that into the groove.

picture source

True Blue Madonna back when your mom worried she was a bad influence!

A guy singing Like a Virgin and Open Your Heart on this show? Hysterical!!! But what is this show? Like High School Musical meets DeGrassi High? There were a lot of funny lines and Madonna scored a lot of reverrance and high praise, "Hall of Fame MILF" said one of the high school students. yeah Funn-eeeeee! Sue, the coach of the cheerios, definitely takes her Madonna empowerment seriously! We all did at one time, though didn't we? Then they recreated the whole "Vogue" video-truly epic! I was cracking up! These actors/actresses must loooooooooove their jobs! I would! I used to do all that sh*t for free!

I definitely cannot promise I will remember to watch this show or know when it is on next, but I think if I was only ever going to see one episode of Glee ever, last night's repeat episode was the one to watch!

Tell me if you saw it and what other singers have been featured on this show.

**RE: The Eclipse trailer.

I could not help but thinking afterwards that there was something comical about needing this ENTIRE ARMY of vampires to kill one little human girl who practically has human near-death experiences on a daily basis without any outside bad intentions of any other worldly creatures!

As always, feel free to Express Yourself in the comments!
-TT

Total Eclipse of the Funniez!!!

May 13th.

May 13th.

May 13th.

May 13th.

I think there is something really important going on that day I just can't remember what.

Like a solar eclipse, Tongue-Twied is hanging in the background and sending you over to 

I Heart Mythical Creatures

I'm over the moon for her collection of Friday Funniez!

KG has quite a collection of the funniez going on and even included me! I'm so honored!

One of my favorites is already over there and it involves Rob, laser beams, and panties!

Go see it for yourself!

-TT

A Twilight PSA: Could You Have Just Said No?

The Twilight Saga
"Just Say No" Campaign
Revamped

My own personal shot of heroin

Smoke a J-Bone

Hit of Special K

Take some FacinellE

************************************************

We interrupt your train of Thawt for...

A Twilight Public Service Announcement

"Okay, last time...this is your brain."

"This is Twilight..."

"This is your brain on Twilight..."

"Any questions?"

Cullen Men Hugs Not Drugs!

**If this made NO sense to you click here to see the original commercial!
I was going to do the Rachel (the intended Alice how's that for a Twilight tie-in?) commercial click here where she takes a frying pan and destroys the whole kitchen but I'm not cleanin' up that mess!**

Today I want to thank everyone who has added me to their blogroll! It has been a giddythrill for me when I go onto other sites and see my little blog's name! If you haven't added me to your blogroll well I guess I just suck but maybe someday I will post something worthy enough to be added to your damn blogroll! Soon I'm even going to have a button, thanks to 17Forever Lisa!

If you feel you have friends and followers who might exactly feel this way then please pimp share this post! You guys know I don't tweet and I don't have any celebrity endorsers. That reminds me, some time I'll tell you about the most excruciatingly awkward celebrity meeting with a certain Melrose Place actor.

I need to take some time off to get some stuff done chickadees

If I go MIA I'll tag you back in a few days, okay?

Hope this is a laugh that will hold you over til then!

-TT

Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to support illegal drug use and in no way is intended to mean the actors represent, use, or support illegal drug use. Twitarded copyrighted material used with permission given prior to LKW making it a threesome. LKW's pic could be added if she gives me permission. 

Kellan Lutz picture from newmoonorg.com.

Jackson Rathbone and Peter Facinelli pictures from eclipsemovieorg.com

Enter "Cullen" in Search at Target.com

I've been online looking for a simple desk to put together. Just for the fun of it I threw in Cullen into the search. Do it! Look at what shows up first! Okay I don't know how that in any way beats out all other actual Twilight books, movies, etc but whatever!

Then read through the reviews!
I especially found the one titled below interesting found easily if you do a Newest first sort:

"Finally available, not thanks to 'Twilight'"

Dear Reviewer named "D"

You'll get no apology from me.

Enjoy your purchase and good day to you!

-TT

More monkeying around! Jayla shares her show experience!

You've seen her on your own blogs commenting. Now the Kellan-cottoning, Rob-lusting, and Jackson-loving Jayla is going to share her own personal monkey business with the rest of us chickadees complete with pictures! First Jayla-did you squeeee at the sparkly drums like I did? LOL! I might have to provide my own commentary because I can and all.

Jayla's words:

I'm going to be excruciatingly detailed, but I'll say this so you don't have wait until the end...no- i didn't grope or hug jasperpants- but did sit as his feet & touch him... literally, and his feet are H U G E for his stature (more on that later)

I had sooooo much fun last night. my friend Liz was really a trooper and was willing to put up w/ lots my antics last night. she wanted the door man (this cute tatted up guy- esp after he carded us- LOL... so the night went well) Go Liz, thanks on behalf of the Twifans for understanding! It takes a special person!!!

The show was something extra... we showed up at about 9:15 (after trying to find parking we got a spot directly across the street from the club- and this place was a step above hole in the wall in a newly gentrified neighborhood in DC) The first cover band had just left the stage so Liz & I headed upstairs to the lounge to grab a beer & visit the ladies room. While in the ladies room Liz starts w/ the 20 questions about Twilight (i groan because #1 we aren't alone #2 i really don't want these strangers to know i'm all jasper crazy.).. anyway after getting our stella's we go back down stairs and I explain who jasper is (again) and why I think he's so fuckhawt.  Jayla, you're Jasper crazy? What about Edward?

 (ok- slow burn...) Oh, I get it. Now we have some Master Edward! enthusiasm.

We walk into the downstairs stage/bar area and the place is halfway filled. I was SO relived to see a lot of over 40 folks (i didn't want to be the only 37 yr old) in addition to the teens that i knew would be there. The second band is about to start their set and doing sound checks- and i'm about 4 ft from the stage because i'm just wandering to see where the best spot will be. I look up and there is Mr. Rathbone fiddling with the keyboard. (rockin' the bandana thingy tied around his forehead). At this point I'm honestly dumbstruck. I clutch my beer tighter and take a swig (yes, drinking out of the bottle- classy and fun too.) Is there another way to do it? I just stare and admire. No one is going nuts- I don't think half the crowd noticed the band running back 'n' forth.

So - the 2nd band (duo) goes on and they are pretty good.. some grunge rock/ballad stuff. adorable- liz called the one guy a jonas brother w/ rock n roll style.

I have yet to bother looking at the time- but eventually 100 monkey's make their way to the stage. I'm standing on the right side of the stage right near the steps (it's a small place) so they all have to walk right next to me to get up the 3 steps. Squuueeee time!!!Ewww he was in the grunge...hey maybe Jackson should be the one playing Kurt Cobain!

Jackson is about 5'9". i have yet to look up his 'official' height- but he is sooooo short and skinny. I knew he'd be skinny- but that short. OMG, the precious better tower over jackson. I was wearing 4" heels (and I'm 5'5" on a good day...).. my first thought after 'he's so short' was, i'd break this poor boy in 1/2. there were some 20ish twifans behind me - lined up against the wall really all 'squee' and not really that coherent. so i said 'did you ever think he'd be that short?', response 'nooo! If he's that short, the girls are really teeny tiny."

                                     Told you I'd see you again Mohawttie!!!

The guys in the band all play everything (not all play everything well... )- so they all rotate around the stage. so although i didn't start out at jackson's feet.. i ended up there quite a few times. ok- jerad (band guy who is sporting a mohawk - was adorable. Liz wanted him too- but we both noticed a wedding band).. but Jerad won for best dressed and best smell. He smelled amazing. Everyone else- not so much. Yes, jasper didn't smell all spicy and nice and yummy.. (You mean he wasn't sporting whatever his trademark vampire scent is?) He smelled like he'd been in a car all day. not stinky- just not 'fresh'. ben (most animated band member) - well he chose not to wear shoes on stage - and his feet.. um, well.. ew. he even asked if the crowd could smell his feet. I didn't even answer- he was 2 feet in front of me. Uncle (the older Sammy Davis Jr like gentleman) was comical - and endearing. I even got a fist bump (more on that later).

Jackson is great on stage--very animated and fun and playful. I loved watching him play guitar and just singing his heart out. It made me want to pull his tail (oh yea- both he and ben wore monkey(?) tails on their jeans...-shaking head-) Oh is that what that was supposed to be hanging down?

The band played for about 2 1/2 hours and said they'd be out to sign stuff. Liz went to sit at the ONE bar stool- while i wandered a bit. We hung out for about 15 minutes and then the guys decided to come back on stage and play 3 or 4 more songs. I found my spot again and sat at Jackson's feet. I kept staring up at him.. but every time he looked at me i looked away. I felt so silly (and gawd those dimples are effin incredible!) This is my chance to ogle up close & personal in a nice intimate club .. Nope i'm a chicken shyt. If I acted this way w/ Jackson - What would I be like with Rob?!

They go off stage, again. I wander back to Liz- still perched on her bar stool. We b.s.'d with the sound board guy (who was drunk & pissed because he zeroed out his sound board and then the band wanted to play again- so he had to reset everything - he was quite funny and entertaining) and the bar tender who said he'd never seen dennis so pissed. (again two tatted up guys - one white - one black and funny as heck)

ok- Band comes out and sits behind one of those conference tables- no pictures allowed. I'm still standing at the bar and decide i'm not waiting on the line until it gets a lot shorter. (there can't be more then 100 people in the club) so Liz and I watch the girls fall all over themselves and the band ..while the annoying boy-who-wears-the-banana-suit rushes everyone along. Liz and i watch these girls fall apart- one by one. it's truly an adorable site to see them walk away in tears, bouncing up and down.

Finally I go get in line when there are 3 people left. Jerad is the first guy at the table-(i had their cd cover and he's signing it) i stick out my hand and introduce myself (as jay - like I do on the blogs) and he introduces himself and I tell him how much i enjoyed the show. (mr. banana boy is rushing me and I'm not happy - nor can i move along since there is a girl in front of me talking to Jjackson).. ok.. now Jackson. I also introduce myself & offer my hand and he says...'how ya doin' darlin?' (to quote fanfic here...) I thought I'd cream my panties. do you know how many times I've 'read' a line in fanfic when jasper says darlin?! and I was all squee, internally- of course- trying to remain cool and calm. (banana boy again is trying to hurry me- but I cant move because the chick in front of me is talking to Ben).. F*CKING SERIOUSLY.... Jackson just said darlin' to me- it never sounded so dayum cute. He's wearing his sun glasses- which irks me because i really wanted to look into his eye, but I guess it's a good thing he did have them on- because it gave me the courage to say how much I enjoyed the music and how I didn't anticipate they would be coming to DC and that was a pleasant surprise. Done and Died! Best part of the story! Jackson brings FF to life!

He tells me of course they'd come to DC because banana boy (he said the boys name- but i don't remember it- or care) is from DC.. so i ask if they are going to upstate ny (just because i needed more Jackson time) and he smiles (gawd the dimples) and says 'shhhh, maybe it's a surprise with his megawatt smile and he's not whispering .. in fact he sounds a bit tipsy (they were all drinking Bud & water or something on stage all night). again banana boy is trying to move me.. (i'm about to stomp his little behind) and I say bye to Jackson and he thanks me for coming.. i don't get to say anything to ben or the drummer ben because the chick in front is still talking to them.. so I zip to Uncle at the end of the table - who has my cd cover and I say hi Uncle, I loved the show, nice to hear some good live music. He says 'glad you were here sistah.' I say, 'so how did you get mixed up with these boys?' he says, 'we did a movie together- he says the name but i can't hear him- and he says you can imdb* it.. I laugh. then I say, 'so you just stuck with them?' response, 'yea- we've been as tight as butt cheeks' (I look stunned now and he continues) 'You heard what i said, right?' my response, 'Yea- but I was trying to ignore it.' (laughs) okay- banana boy is successful with getting rid of me...

The guys leave the table as the last few stragglers leave the club for the foyer. Right before we walk the 2 feet to the front doors- who is in my way- banana boy sucking face furiously w/ his girlfriend (who i guess is still in DC) ..Now I'm pissed that he was rushing us all along so he could get some?! the nerve. We all walk around them and just glare. When I get outside, I literally got all squee on the sidewalk. The few girls/moms that are left are doing the same thing. Liz is just smiling and watching the crazy unfold.

*******

Jayla you are a true all-around Twilight fangirl! Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is official both your story and the Twired's stories are both so much more kick*jack*ass then my story but there is definitely this common theme of being consumed in some kind of Jackson trance and of course perving up over thoughts of Jackson and Jerad.

But it seems like if Rob ever does meet you Jayla, because Jackson was so nice and practically acted out his role in every fanfiction we've ever read, Rob has some big shoes to fill!

                                        ~Jackson's Big Feet~

Thanks again! Anyone who comes here today by way of Jayla's story please feel free to leave her some love in the comments! -TT

Love spelled backwards is...

Anyone else wondering if Melissa Rosenberg loves her some burritos?

See I can do a short post! -TT

Jackson Is One Cool Cat!

If you haven't noticed, I seem to be caught up in this whole crazy Twidom. Well at least the fangirl in me is, and she is getting harder and harder to repress! So I considered the road trip to see 100 Monkeys for the first time! The chance to "see some bands at a small venue" is like bait for Mr. AnTwi-Pattz, he's big into music so after some eyerolling in explanation of how this was Twilight related he agreed to my idea. Planning such an event is complicated for us though between job schedules and finding a babysitter. By the beginning of the week I had already abandoned the idea thinking it wasn't doable for various reasons. The stars just weren't alignin' for me.

Then 3 things happened:
1.  Toward the last minute I got a call from my best babysitter saying if I still needed her she had a chance to take off work that day.
2. DangrDafne did a post on regrets that seriously motivated me. Check it out!
3. The Twitards got tweets from Billy Burke that put me on such a fangirl high.

Suddenly my monkey man stars were alignin' and we were actually making a road trip!

 Here's what I gathered to take with me thinking I'm going to get an autograph from J-Bone.

1. My Twilight book (the one with the poster in the back)
2. Various banners of my favorite blogs. (Yes I was going to let him sign as much as he was willing to!)
3. Mrs. P's AVI Because she won't stop until she has had all the Cullen men.

Then I had another thought. I printed out the Twitarded banner and the of tweets from Billy Burke thinking maybe some way I could get the 100 Monkeys to tweet the Twitards too! I wrote a note on that paper to Jackson asking him to tweet the Twitards and that they in turn could pimp his band. Good plan, right?

So off we went on our road trip to make it to a 6 pm show in Lancaster, PA. Errrr...what the heck time is that for a show? Is there like an Amish curfew that town adheres to? Amish country. Don't think I didn't spend some quality time considering if there was any chance Rob might be there in the audience in disguise--dark pants, longish hair, black hat, chewing on straw. Think Harrison Ford in Witness. See it?

We get in and literally I am only 3 feet away from the stage. I'm taking in the scene and trying to figure out who to best approach with my note to Jackson. Mr. AnTwi-Pattz suggests I buy a CD to be signed (isn't he the best enabler husband?). I realize the guy working the table is dressed exactly like I have seen pictures of Jackson with the hat and tie. He has longish hair pulled back. So I ask him if he works for the club or came with the band. He very suspiciously deadpanned, "I travel with the band." So I asked if Jackson is on twitter and he said no but said the band is. Perfect! I asked him to please give my note to Jackson and have his band tweet the Twitards. I'm not sure if I can explain his reaction--he was stone-cold faced about it. Dude I was not asking to get back to see the band or anything. I bought my CD and not long after I looked back and saw him reading the note. Then I saw a different guy walking with said note in hand to the back room where the band was hanging out.

Just an aside about "I travel with the band guy" who was dressed exactly like Jackson. He seemed very put off by my asking about his connection to the band. I went to a dark place that was somewhere between Selena's fanclub president and Whitney's sister in The Bodyguard. ya know what I'm sayin'? **shivers**

First warm up act Amanda Wells. Talented singer. Mr. AnTwi-Pattz was complimentary to her guitar skillz. If you ever need some wallow in the thought of an old relationship music this is your girl!

I had no room in my excitement for wallowing so I decided to go empty my bladder. While in the stall I overhear 2 girls by the sink.

Girl #1: So did you see any crazy Twilight moms out there?
Girl #2: No just YOUR mom.
Girl #1: Oh Jasper, Oh Jasper! (mocking tone)
Girl #2: Jasper I love you!!!  (mocking tone)

So while I'm washing my hands I ask them, "Exactly how old do you have to be to be a crazy Twilight mom?" They giggle and look me up and down. "Uhhhh 40?"

"Oh good, then I'm just a fangirl wearing my Cullen crest necklace." I show them and we laugh.

I return to a second warm up act. Someone in second story above me spills beer that lands 2 feet away from me. Errr...that's when I'm thinking, I'm too old for this shit.

A third warm-up singer. Are you freakkin kidding me? I want the damn monkeys! Well they showed up at the end to sing with the guy and made him finally sound better.

At first site, the 100 Monkeys are a lot to take in. There are so damn many of them and they are everywhere. Jackson comes out and the fangirls make their presence known. Here's what I secretly loved about Jackson at first site. He's very well dressed. I've seen some pictures of him singing when he is in a sweatband and looking kind of greasy. NOT TONIGHT! He had on his dressy outfit complete with clean, wavy hair sticking out from under a cool cat hat and tie just like "I travel with the band guy."

Third warm up act is over and now we have to wait again for the Monkeys to come back out. While we are waiting the young girls from the bathroom are to my right and I joke with them, "See, I wasn't all yelling out Jasper." They laughed and complimented my restraint. Then I said, "Forget Jasper anyway, the mohawk guy is HAWT!!!!" They agreed.

Finally the band came back out. And poor Mr. AnTwi-Pattz, I wasn't even trying to hide how surprisingly taken I was with this guy...

It's Mohawttie!!!

The most f*cktastic thing about this band is that they each take turns singing and playing all the instruments! It was like watching 100 Monkey musical chairs after each song they changed everything and shared each other's instruments. That's trust! Aren't musicians usually very protective of their personal instruments?

Then it happened about 3 or 4 songs in, who can remember because I was kind of drunk on the sight of these guys. Mr. Rathbone was standing directly in front of me with only 5 shorter-than-me fangirls in between us. As he was singing his eyes locked in on me.....for a loooooo-hoooong while! And I just stood there absof*ckinglutely locked in to his gaze. Don't spit in my soup! I'm telling you he was f*ckin' locked in on me hard! The song was called "Poison Oak." And well it was like throwing back a little poison in that moment because I was Done and Died! When he finally wasn't looking just at me anymore I had to catch my surreal breath a little and come back to reality. Oh my Jackson was he just staring directly at me? Oh my Rathbone was I just doing something inappopriate to him in my mind. OH SHIT! What if Twitards decide to do a post on HIS penis size?

I can't say I witnessed Jackson staring so intently toward anyone else the rest of the night but I did feel as though he intentionally avoided looking at me after our shared moments. Maybe he realized Mr. AnTwi-Pattz was with me, though he was standing behind me and to my left, and was trying to be respectful?

But then it happened again didn't it Jackson?  I caught you looking at me again when you came out for an encore wearing dark shades someone from the audience had given you. I guess you thought we couldn't see your eyes behind the black lens but I could see you looking at me from behind the keyboard.

I played it cool by focusing a lot of attention to Mohawttie. You played it cool by trying to emcompass the whole club with your quick, darting looks out into the audience. But I will always remember those special moments we shared when I stood there, not singing, not dancing, not doing anything other than feeling hopelessly shitfaced grinning directly back at you as you sang to me and only me.

     Jackson and Jerad: Coooool cat and Monkey man!

                                              

                  Hello cat meet cougar, PUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

And look! It's mo' Mohawttie at the parttie!

                                                                                                               
Sorry my pictures just suck. I have some recorded video on my new phone if I only knew how the hell to transfer it here I would share that.

I can't tell you what an awesome show it was and I do hope to go see them again maybe next time with DangrDafne and LwE! I hope they tweet the Twitwats! I hope I never forget how stupidly smitten I got at that show. I hope I haven't bored you with my boring personal experience! There were no autographs being given out and the staff was terribly rude about getting everyone out of the building so I abandoned that plan but have no regrets about it because my heart and soul were kind of already content.

I hope the kind woman Cheryl I met at the show emails me her pictures. She may have gotten a little annoyed with me because every time Jackson turned around I yelled, "Get a picture of his ass!"

Thanks to TwiredJen and her elusive sis for sharing this video. I think it piqued my interest in seeing the band. So I'm wondering if there is a Jeraditis because yeah I was horned up over that guy. What can I say? I have a type and he fit right into it, even with the mohawk!

Wanna know what I really looooooooooooooooooooved about JACKSON? His dancing on stage! His grooving was sexy as anything! Please let Jasper bust a move at both Bella's graduation party and at the wedding!!!!

And speaking of dancing.....allow me to pimp Kelly and her blog My DiscomRobulation. We've been chatting over her November experience in meeting Rob! I lived vicariously, and her sharing gave me even more ammunition to road trip to see Jackson. She's been putting beautiful pictures of Rob to songs this week and honored me with my song suggestion whose sentiment fits Rob, my road trip, 100 Monkeys, and YOU! Go check it out!

And I hope you dance!

-TT

Fun fact about Jackson Rathbone: Descendent of Thomas Jonathan "Stonewall" Jackson, Confederate General from West Virginia per IMDB.com 

You really do f*ckin learn something new every day! 

I Think I've Figured out How I like J-Bone Best!

I've been trying really hard to figure out how to like Jackson Rathbone as he hangs out admist, but seems to be emerging from, the shadows of Rob. It's not that I don't think he is nice looking, it just hasn't been enough for me to cotton to him the way I instantly did with Rob. I realized I needed something more!

Do I like him like this?

Definitely Not!

How about like this?

 I can appreciate his dazzling baseball bat talent and physique but still no.

And this?

Meeh. He just looks a little too coy and mischievous.

Perhaps this one?

Posed sooooo hawtly! I think I'm getting warmer!

But finally I think I found the "Bone"fide real deal!

So here chickadees is how I have decided I like Jackson Rathbone the best:

 

Less than 6 feet in front of me (and only 5 short fangirls between us)

playing guitar and singing!

Yes that is him! Yes my camera sucks! I'm hoping a kind soul I met last night is going to email me her pictures.

I will explain the full wrath that Mr. Rathbone had upon me in my next post! But let me just say I don't know where this "total fangirl" in me resurfaced from but she's getting to be expensive, impulsive, and increasingly more and more high maintenance!

-TT

photos from newmoonmovie.org

***Whoa! How did I I fuckin' rate this one?! Do you see who just put HIMSELF on the guest list?

I bet that's Mr Pantz to you signed up because he thinks I have an appreciation for good music.

More clues: Road Trip-I'm All Afluttered and Aflustered!

                                                                        picture source

"Traffic You Will Feel My Wrath!!!!"

I'm back from my road trip and I wanted to say thank you to everyone who supplied road trip music yesterday! Now Kellan will just have to find some other way to pick a fight with you! (And some of you chickadees are already thinking how much you'd enjoy that!)

I'm going to talk a little bit about my road trip in my next post but I am going to need some time to get my thoughts together because it was a little overwhelming what I went through once we got to our destination. As I think about it I can already feel tingles though...

Things did not go as planned for me. They rarely ever do. Still, this ended up being a very personal experience, so I'm going to cast aside my vulnerability and share it!

I knew I was on the right path with this road trip when right from the get go we saw an older Chevy truck with an older motorcycle in the back strapped down. I laughed to myself knowing only those Twilight chickadees would understand just why I was smiling!

Oh how I would love to be able to throw this stuff all up here right now, but with the way I'm feeling, all jittery like my fingers can barely find the right keys, I just need to regroup and find some focus so I can give a proper account!

But I'll give some clues...

1. Drinking.
2. Mohawk.
3. Karma.
4. Hidden clue somewhere in this post.
5. Arizona
6. Fruit

Have a guess? EMAIL ME so as not to ruin it, please!

Have a f*cktastic day! - TT

Oh Kristen, Was There Any Reason for you to Sound So Jealous?

So once again I was watching Twilight with the commentary on and THIS time something else clicked! A little more Robsten foundation. You can accuse me of reading too much into stuff, I don't care but I think you are going to want to run and get your Twilight movie put it in the DVD player set up the ON feature for commentary and fast forward to the first diner scene when Rob is talking about the GARDENBURGER!

He refers to Hayley from Paramore talking about the veggie burger and it reminded me of the exact youtube video I saw a while back when he had this conversation. Rob flirts and acts smitten-as-a-kitten interviews Hayley and Hayley questions him seeimingly just as crushing on taken with Rob as he talks about music and his role in Twilight.

So what is the commentary Rob says in Twilight? It doesn't matter! What matters is what Kristen says and the inflection she uses. Here it is with my added commentary, of course! But be sure to watch as I can't mimic that TONE of hers in words in response to Rob merely bringing up the fact that he was just talking with Hayley recently and was very innocently eyefucking talking  to Hayley about what a gardenburger was...

"(Oh really) And what did (that little ___) she have to say about gardenburgers?" -Kristen

Dearest Rob, You screwed up here. Don't you know talking about food with other girls sets yourself up for jealousy and sleeping on the couch? 

Oh Kristen! Was there a real reason to sound a little jealous?

Maybe it took putting a little jealousy out there to your guy to actually help him to realize he needs to stop acting like a boy, which is all he's known since birth (there is no real automatic "off" switch) and instead it got him to reaffirm his committment to the relationship with the one person he truly wanted to be with, yes you Kristen!
Perhaps it was a catalyst to a relationship baptism, of sorts.

How did we get here? I think I knoooooowwwwww!

Happy Birthday LivingwithEdward!

She had one hell of a kickass, action-packed surprise party with the Cullens. Click her name above to go check it out!

I'm in need of some road trip music! Of course, Twilight music will always be on in my car but I need to find some other music that just says nice weather and it's a good time to get the hell out of Dodge!

              "Life is a Highway" Tom Cochran (the original!)

from there I've just got nothing!

Emmett is waiting in the comments for your road trip song recommendations! I would not let him down seeing as how he has a butcher knife in his hand and all!