Edward, How about an UnTraditional Wedding March?

 When I was growing up I used to stay with my grandparents overnight from time to time and being that they lived over the river and through the woods one of their favorite pasttimes was watching tv so that's what I did with them, right after I had to dust and polish the top of it`.

So because they loved Dick Clark and laughing they always watched "TV's Bloopers and Practical Jokes." It was good to see my grandparents laugh. It was contagious, and I grew up loving blooper reels from television and movies. Even more I love the practical jokes! Who knew, right? Yep! Me and George Clooney should collaborate sometime.

Now we've all seen the Twilight bloopers, right? See them here but DAMN you just know there are more!

And we know when Rob is around scenes are bound to end up in theshitter going astray as he so easily cracks himself up over stuff.

What's so funny Rob?

HA HA HA

          HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
                    
                                             HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
                   
                                                                                              HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Sorry but Rob laughing is contagious but just what we needed to lighten up the mood!!!

Now Bill Condon strikes me as the kind of director who is all business, like his idea of a good time is bringing in pizza for lunch one day and announcing his next project will be featherless. I admit he's got a lot to think about filming two movies at once and a huge cast to coordinate but Bill, how about letting your hair down....(uhhh sorry about that one, it's just an expression) cutting a little footloose, and letting the cast be a little fancy free.

I have an idea for some extra footage, that yes we know won't be part of the movie, but would be highly anticipated to see on the EXTRAS part of the DVD along with any bloopers. It won't take more than two hours of Scummit's precious time (and don't worry about the money because it will pay for itself) to shoot and I bet...I mean I just bet...that if you propositioned this idea to the cast they would all be SO ONBOARD with the idea.

So just recreate this....

Can't you see it now?

Okay watch the video and follow along...

It starts out with your ushers Tyler and Eric handing out programs as Charlie closes the doors and sneaks off to the side.

The music starts! The remaining programs get thrown in the air like confetti!

Tyler begins shaking some booty and doing his prom dancing all the way down the aisle. You remember how he had is hands all up in front of him dancing in Twilight.

Eric follows behind with his hands waving through the air and shades on, looking slightly cool.

Jessica and Angela enter with sunglasses on and flowers in hand as they sache down the aisle, do a few cheerleader moves using their flowers like pom poms, and then end with a risky ode to what they always wished to do to Edward.

Then Forks' famous rumpshaker Mike Newton does what he does best as he flags his friends at the wedding, stops to put a flower in his mouth and walks on his hands to keep his ass in the air, lands back on his feet and gives us another glance of what he looks like while on a surfboard!

Bear down and brace yourself! In dances Emmett and Rosalie in their shades! While dancing Rosalie actually hides any remaining disgust she has for Bella. Emmett has some badass moves!!!

Here comes Seth and Quil sporting some moves! Seth dances thinking, "Wow, I'm gonna sneak some champagne tonight" and Quil is just glad he didn't have to bring his cousin as a date.

Oh Renee and Phil are getting in on the action too! I'm not surprised, Renee really is young for her age and Phil keeps her feeling young so of course she was gonna flaunt that in front of poor Charlie.

Then Sue and Leah don their shades, grab bouquets, and get in on the action as they join hands and run down the aisle flipping each other followed by cameo appearances made by Stephenie Meyer and Melissa Rosenberg.

And let's take pity on the dog, because Taylor has some awesome moves, so clear the aisle, like a dog run, and let Taylor backwards flip all the way down the aisle!!!

Here comes our fine monkey man, Jasper and Alice, give'em a second to match the music and now they are doing some funky uppercuts as they come down the aisle then run it back because it's time for Cuttin' lose Cullen style including Carlisle and Esme and the rest!!! What can bring the wolves and vamps together like kicking newborn ass and casuing a commotion Madonna style?  

He's here! [Anticipation builds.] He's so close! He's coming!

Make way for Edward, as our favorite groom emerges from the clan with a somersault in one lithe move [and way more graceful than that backward flip he did on the mat in the behind the scenes footage of Eclipse!!!! 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(As Edward dances the rest of the way of the aisle most of the female guests can't help but holler and yell about how hawt he is however inappropriate that may be at a wedding! Some of the girls faint.)

After slo-mo buildup from the Clan up at the altar, our anticipated bride Bella appears at the back of the church and begins her little awkward "I can't dance' movements. Halfway down the aisle, Edward rescues her by taking her arm and gently gliding her the rest of the way as he leans in and whispers to her, 

                                            "Forever."

Dear Bill C. and Summit,

Yes I'm available for hire, phone consultations, or Skype critiques.

Let's have some fun!!

-kiTT

*hisbella...how's that for Dreamgirls meets Twilight? he he