Alice, I Saw Him, my Forever Crush...maybe?

Twilight opened up a can of crush worms for me. If you didn't read the last crush post, you are going to want to start there.

It wasn't enough that a few months ago I fell in love with Edward, the story of Twilight, cottoned to Rob and this could just be my own little private hobby. A little personal zone for TT. Nope, for me entering the Twilight world has also meant stepping into some weird Twilight Crush Zone.

I hadn't run into any past crushes in YEARS!

After "Alice" had pointed out to me that RPattz reminds her of my Forever Crush we had a few weeks of serious trips down memory lane. And let me tell you, when you are 20ish years out don't bring a flashlight down that road bring friends because what you forget they remember and what they remember you forget that makes for a short path going in and a long road out!

In addition to Alice, I started chatting with "Angela" about my Edward. She had met him briefly but because she had her own steady boyfriend that summer she did not hang around so much with the rest of us. Still, she remembered the stories and we laughed and laughed about so many things from that summer. Angela is also deep into Twilight and Edward/Bella fanfiction. And when she calls me up and says, "Hey I read this fanfiction story" and I haven't read it yet I'm jealous! LOL Angela takes the time to inform me of stories of things I had no idea went on that summer, too. We laugh at how far we've come from those days.

So amidst my new and still currently existing life, the life that includes Rob and Twilight, I found myself thinking a lot about fun times from the past and how I should pick up my manuscript again and work on it because there were some summer-inspired stories in it. On the Saturday evening the weekend after Thanksgiving, Mr. ATP and I headed to our favorite Italian restaurant after a show in one of our favorite towns that is a ways away so we don't get there often.

I was about to open the door to the restaurant but stepped back when I realized two guys were walking out. I paused and wait patiently. The first guy walked out and cruised right by me. The second guy looks at me for a minute. I look back at him. Are we sharing a moment? Normally I don't do "moments" with guys (okay I did with Jackson Rathbone but that was like a spell I was under and just could NOT look away) I have a little twinge of guilt go through me knowing Mr. ATP is standing right behind me but as I look at this guy I hear my friend Alice's words about how of course I would like RPattz because he's my type the same way my Edward was. And I think to myself oh geez, this guy is cute and would totally fit in to that category. After he is past me it kind of hits me, did he recognize me? IS that what that look was about? 

OH MY ROB is that him? No, not RPattz, my forever crush?

So what do you think I did? How could I find out but play it cool?  I didn't have to address him by his name. I didn't have to give him the satisfaction of knowing I even remembered his name by saying, "Edward, right?" All I needed to do was say, "Hey did you used to work at....?" Honestly, it would not have been the first time over the years I have asked someone that--sometimes being right and sometimes being wrong. And then the ball would have been in his court. After all, he was looking at me before any of these thoughts even floated through my head. Maybe he would have remembered MY name.

And how did TT react???

Errrrr, she got tonguetwied and said nothing. 

A big fat whole lotta NOTHING!

That night she called up Alice. Alice, I saw him. I think, well I don't know. I mean it's 20 years later. Alice just kept asking me, "Oh man, well do you think it was him?" and I just kept replying "I don't know." Alice and I laughed and she reminded me how I have always recognized people easily--people we worked with, celebrities on the streets of NYC a few times, and even a friend of a friend I spotted at Disney World once that I had only ever seen him on videotape (and I had no problem marching myself up to him, a total stranger and telling him I knew a friend of his) Despite all this, Alice tried to reassure me, "You would have known it if it was him."

Not convinced I call up Angela and relay my pathetic story to her. Angela tells me I've just been way too caught up in Twilight, RPattz, and playing the memory lane game and the combination of those 3 things made for a point of reference in my mind that this guy fit into. She assures me it wasn't him.

I agreed with Angela and was ready to really laugh about it so I shared the story with MamaTwied (not my mama). She suggests I look him up on Facebook in hopes there is a current picture of him. He's not on there, but then I found myself doing some other investigating and find some Military addresses for him. Maybe he said he planned to do that, I can't remember but I'm not surprised to learn this. His current military address is one that indicates he might even be part of a special forces or undercover. Whew! Problem solved. No way that was him then I tell MamaTwied and I"m satisfied with knowing this was all just something of a TwiPattzclusterf*ck in my mind until she offers, "Unless he was home on Thanksgiving leave."

Are you kidding me????!!!!!

It took me 4 days before I finally asked Mr. ATP if he happened to catch that look I shared with that guy coming out of the restaurant on Saturday night. He was oblivious to it.

Next worm...

I decided to get in touch with a couple of people from my teen years when I discovered them on Facebook-both guys and both for different reasons. One helped me feel at ease the first day of my job (job where I met myEdward  when I was 16). We already knew each other but had no clue both were working there and ran into each other that first day and to me it was such a relief. I'm sure to him it was nothing but since we had lost touch I decided to email him and thank him and let him know how much better my first day was because he was there too. He was very responsive and seems to be doing well. I relayed the story of how I may or may have not seen myEdward and his response was, "Ex-coworkers from that job are kind of like lifeboat survivors, we always recognize each other." F*ck! Not helpful and now I'm wondering all over again if it was him or not.  BTW, he totally had a crush on Alice.

Second guy, I decided to email for different reasons. My hubby and I had just experienced the death of a friend, that damn Kris Allen song was always on the radio, I had seen a picture of this guy's best friend's sister in the paper, and I thought I should just say hi and hope he was doing well because we worked together one summer and then kind of went back to our respective college lives.  He was so sweet to me though that I really just wanted to make sure he was doing well. (I'm happily married and not trolling, trust me!) During the summer we knew each other, we spent one day doing something I assumed he's never, ever did with another girl during those years. So I emailed him and asked him if he can guess who it is based on that crazy summer day, 20ish years ago. He wrote back, guessing correctly with some added details that jogged my memory from that day. He told me he was married and spoke highly of his wife and kid, which was nice to hear. He told me how his life had been and dropped a "don't tell anyone I said this" tidbit about someone we mutually knew, which made me laugh because that is EXACTLY what he used to say to me that summer and why I knew we were such buddies. We would share cigarettes on break and he would entrust me with various information. And truly, he was one of the sweetest guys I've ever known. About halfway through his email he informs me he had a crush on me but kept it to himself.

Are you kidding me????!!!

Well that's just great because I'm pretty sure after I was no longer involved in the guy that I had hooked up with that summer I had a standing Friday night date with "Uncle Jessie" when it could have been the sweet guy.

Next worm...

Two weekends ago Mr. ATP and I packed up the child and took a roadtrip to a very popular children's place. We are strolling around having fun when all of the sudden I just want to run and hide because I look up and see a guy there I had a crush on. I see him and I recognize him instantly! He looks exactly the same only a little gray in the gottee he always sported and a little less hair on top.

Are. You. KIDDING. ME????

We are talking about someone I haven't seen in yeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssss! We did hook up but it was brief and not worth going into the fact that I may have abandoned him during a date to go talk to the friend of a guy I was in love with... But as I stood and watched him light up in response to seeing how happy his kids were  I just smiled to myself and actually felt satisfied knowing he was an involved dad. I patted myself on my back for being all mature then I shuffled my daughter off to my husband and ducked into a corner to call Alice, as this guy was her ex-boyfriend's good friend, and told her.

How could I have been so immediately sure of who this guy was and still confused about the guy at the restaurant?

So thank you Twilight for the downpour that just left all these worms in plain sight. Gee I hear my the guy I had a crush on in junior high moved to the state of Washington. Do you think if I went to Forks it would be just my luck to run into him?

Why can't I just have a nice normal crush reunion like miraclebabe1 had:

I got out of my car and  who was parked right next to me with his window down was my first 'HUGE' crush. His window was down & we said hi to each other like we do anytime we meet. Always big smiles, very friendly,& for some reason,(even though I'm happily married & have Robward on the side LOL),my heart still skips a beat & I kind of tremble a bit.I'm always taken back to a time MANY,MANY years ago!!

All I'm going to say is please, please, please the day I run into RPattz let me have learned from all of this and be better prepared.

Let me recognize him without question.

Let me be able to speak to him and not get all tonguetwied.

Let me be able to watch him from afar first and smile at him.

Let him send me an email the next day telling me he had a crush on me, too.

Do you have any good "crush" run in stories?

Tell me in the comments!

Anybody want to guess what me and the sweet guy did one afternoon? It was reel different! :) 

 -TT